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Self love through Time Out

Updated: Mar 23

By Narelle Monteleone

Self love through time out. Create space for some me time, to relax, rebalance and restore.
Life's busy! I get it. There is so much to do and we can easily fill every single second with 'something' that has been waiting to grab our attention.

There are those annoying things we put off doing in the hope they will somehow vanish and not need to ever be attended to and there are what makes up our daily routines and habits that we just do as part of the every day. It might seem as though there is just simply no time left for us and to create space for our health and wellbeing, but actually, we do have time! It seems that many of us make the time for exercise - going to the gym or going for a daily walk, or run, and even though yes, exercise is part of a wellness routine certainly, there is so much more that we can gain with more of a focus on all aspects of our wellness. Wellness from a holistic perspective seems to fall by the wayside as somehow not really THAT essential but rather a bonus if you can get time every so often to incorporate it into your day. You might go and have a Massage or book yourself into a Sound Healing or Meditation Class but we have not been educated as well as we could be, in my opinion about the benefits of wellness practices becoming part of our every day routine. We can all give back to ourselves with some self love through time out.

Sadly, the focus in our society has been to work, work and work some more, just to pay the mortgage or rent, to buy food, pay bills with many barely able to keep their heads above water.

That seems to come above all else, and I understand why, as we have not been given much chance to do otherwise in a system that is designed to keep us down, though I acknowledge that might come across as a generalisation, but I think you would agree that the vast majority of people are not thriving as we were intended to when we incarnated on this planet. Anyway, I digress, so on the odd special occasion if you are fortunate enough to have some dollars to spare or you have had a windfall you 'might' use it for yourself to find some much needed relaxation and therapy to calm the mind, body and spirit. It is definitely the exception rather than the rule in my experience with the clients that I see and those I cross paths with. Don't get me wrong, there are many people who 'do' make time every day for wellness practices and who have done the inner work and stepped up to ensure they are giving themselves the love and support they deserve, but it is certainly not the majority which I for one feel it needs to be.

Why you ask am I placing such an emphasis on said wellness?

Taking time to incorporate wellness into the everyday changes our lives, and that may sound like a sweeping statement but I'm serious. It DOES change our lives when we commit to giving back to US consistently. The caveat here is that it will not have the desired effect if you only partake now and then. Of course you will gain SOME benefit from going to have a massage once in a while, for sure. You will feel relaxed and there ARE therapeutic benefits to be gained from that 1 Massage or that 1 Reiki Session but think about all the years of stress that you might have been exposed to. The effect all of that stress has had upon us will not suddenly disappear in one session. That's just not realistic. It will release some of it and the body will have the opportunity to relax and rebalance somewhat but it does take consistency to make a change that is long lasting and effective. We are transmitters and receivers of energy and we take on a lot, a large portion that is not even ours to carry, but we carry it as the Empathic humans that we are. Some will carry this much more than others as we are not all as sensitive as one another but we do tend to take on the worries and problems and 'energies' of others as, overall we are caring and compassionate people who find it difficult to see others suffer, so we jump in to support and provide that space for them to unload their trauma.

As noble and self sacrificing as that may seem, in the long run we are not honouring ourselves because we are not here to save anyone. I grappled with this lesson for a very long time. The need to 'fix' every situation only wears us down after a while, and not everyone wants or needs our help. Now, of course I am not suggesting we don't support others, or be there to listen to the problems of our loved ones, however there does come a time when for the sake of self preservation we need to take a step back and allow others to learn and grow through what they are experiencing. We really don't have the right to take that away from them because it is part of their soul's progression and ascension. Rather than trying to control and fix and help by giving our advice, it might be more beneficial to simply hold the space for them to unpack what they are coming to terms with or trying to resolve. In most cases that is what they need rather than tons of advice coming from someone who although coming from a loving and caring space, might not have a clue about what that persons experience is because they themselves have not experienced it. We can try to understand what that experience must feel like but unless we have personally experienced it in the exact same way that they are, our perception is going to be entirely different to theirs and even if we have experienced the exact same scenario, there will still be differences based on so many parameters and therefore will never be entirely the same. It can be similar; we can relate to what they must be going through, but even that can be detrimental to their evolution as we may become triggered by our own trauma in relation to that similar situation we had and inadvertantly without meaning to, skew their experience with our well meaning advice. We are more valuable sitting back, allowing them the room to move through their current challenge and being there to support and uplift them as they come to their own resolution. Always without judgement!

Now, back to making time for our amazing selves - It is possible but only if you want it enough. It can be easy after a hectic day at work, coming home to kids and dinner and bathtime and cleaning to just fall into bed exhausted with the reality of it all happening again tomorrow hanging over your head. What if though, before you fell into bed you gave yourself an extra 10mins of time that is purely and solely yours? What if, once everyone else was in bed and you've said your goodnights you put some headphones on and listened to some calming music, or did a 10 minute meditation, or did Yoga for 10mins before going to sleep? How about some slow deep breaths to calm and re-centre? Maybe some visualisation where you close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and visualise the life of your dreams or a relaxing holiday destination you want to visit 'one day'? OR a short Grounding Meditation before sleep to keep you more in your body in order to attain that deep restful sleep that we need for optimal health? If you wanted to spend a bit more time you could go and take a relaxing bath in the knowledge that there is no where you have to be, there is nothing you need to do besides relax and receive and if you are Reiki attuned you could use this time to give yourself a self healing by bringing in the Reiki energy. If you are really stretched for time before bed you might like to simply place essential oils on your pulse points and allow the aroma to waft over you as you calm your senses and drift off to sleep.

My point is, even when you feel you don't have time for YOU, you DO! You have time, but are you willing to give yourself that time OR are you going to use the few minutes you could be basking in some form of calm and relaxation to throw yourself into yet another chore you forgot you hadn't done or to stare at your phone or computer screen. Trust me, it will still be there in the morning waiting for you so you will gain far more by giving yourself these few minutes each day and you will be more productive, happier, more content than if you hadn't. This reduces anxiety, feelings of resentment for not giving to yourself and overall self love for making YOU a priority, even if its just for 10 minutes a day. Ideally you will be increasing this time as you start to feel the benefits of giving back to self, pampering and loving who you are and feeling worthy of all the good things that you deserve, but start small and build upon it. Then keep going. Don't stop until wellness becomes a habit just like all the other habits we do daily.

I am here to remind you that you are worthy, you are amazing and you are a strong so be all that you came here to be and don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it. You Can!

If you have been slackening off in the self love department, not allowing yourself time to come back into balance, ask yourself why? Then ask yourself if you feel you are worthy of this time and if not, why not? Are you self sabotaging? Are you punishing yourself for something?

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Narelle X

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